Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
