its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
