I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
