Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
