i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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