i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
