True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
