i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
