I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
