he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
