just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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