Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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