I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
