I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
