Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
