i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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