Your mouth is God's brothel.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
