i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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