my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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