the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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