Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
