I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
