Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
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He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
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Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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