i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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