WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
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I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize