Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize