Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
