sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
