Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
