He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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