You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
