so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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