...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
