i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
