what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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