Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
