There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
