i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
