i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
