just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have tasted many bathrooms
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