my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
