I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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