It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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