Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
