Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I CAN MOONWALK!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
