Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
