He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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