Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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