So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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