Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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