no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
