Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
