i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize