What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
