oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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