Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
