we're blogging at a bar
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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