whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This is the high leading the old right now
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
