Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
