Three words: puerto rican gang bang
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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