I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
do herpes really smell.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
