drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
